At Notes From The Trenches: “The Unspoken Conversations in Our Heads.” Here is an excerpt:
She said,”Are all those kids yours?”
I heard,”Is that impossibly large number of children yours? Have you ever heard of birth control?”
I said,”Yes. They are all mine.”
She heard,”They are all mine. I am a saint.”
She said,”Oh my god, I didn’t know people still did that.”
I heard,”Have you ever heard of birth control?”
From Flea at One Good Thing: “I Have Not Blogged In A Week, and I Am Crabby.” Here’s an excerpt:
..This is why I hate the fucking mommy wars, and why I hate every single person who gets on her self-righteous high horse about how irresponsible and selfish the stay at home mom is because she isn’t pulling in any money to ensure the family has a nest egg for emergencies. Or how selfish and irresponsible the working mom is because, “When a mother works, something is lost.”
Hey, when a mother takes a shit, something is lost, too, you know? What a stupid thing that is to say, and yet every combatant in this fight believes in some variation of Caitlin Flanagan’s assholery, whether we’re blaming women for destroying feminism with our blowjobs or adhering to (patriarchal! misogynist! child-abusing!) religious beliefs or staying at home so we can practice extended breastfeeding. Or we’re making women whose hearts are already breaking at being away from their children for so long feel even worse by suggesting that we want a fancy car or a flatscreen television more than we want to be good mothers. Or getting angry with them and taking cheap shots because they love their jobs and they’re good at what they do.
Every road we walk down, we miss the opportunity to explore other roads. That’s just the way it works. And when you dismiss a women’s decisions as being nothing more than a casual choice – and obviously the wrong choice, or you wouldn’t feel so self-righteous – you are ignoring the fact that for almost every human being the course of our lives runs like a raindrop down a window, with unpredictable twists and turns, sometimes veering off in a seemingly random direction because of obstacles you can’t see from where you are. We don’t know what goes on behind the closed doors of a marriage or partnership that leads to these “choices,” and to act like every woman lives in a little bubble where her decisions are never weighed with regard to the lives of at least two other people is one of the most obtuse positions I can think of. …
