Your Eyebrows Were Too Thick! Now They Are Too Thin!

Or so the as the NYT advises in yet another breaking news story that comes helpfully illustrated with what it denotes as “Graphic: The Eyebrow Chronicles: A Tale of Pluck and Daring” (click the link for a larger rendering, or follow the NYT link above to see the full-sized original):

Why the continually morphing eyebrow mores? Because your eyebrows need to match your outfits, and clothing fashions are ever changing, of course:

Some women who once plucked zealously are now hoping that the thin brown lines on their foreheads bloom into thickets. …

The fringed frons is making a comeback because of chunky, angular fall fashions, said James Kaliardos, a makeup artist in New York and Paris. Previous seasons were full of frilly, delicate, ladylike clothes best complemented by pink-hued cosmetics and a thinner hyper-groomed brow. But this season’s outfits with their pared-down constructivist silhouettes call for a more natural-looking face anchored by a prominent brow, he said.

But what if you don’t have the patience to grow out your eyebrows, or they are naturally on the thin side? Must you leave the house in a hat that falls mid-retina to hide this appalling facial deformity? Not necessarily, because luckily, there are plenty of NYT advertisers ready to help you solve your horrible eyebrow deficiencies if you have adequate time, motivation and expendable cash:

To achieve the furry but tamed Hemingway eyebrow, Ms. McGrath suggested an appointment with a professional eyebrow groomer.

“Giving yourself a beautiful eyebrow is not one of the easiest things to do,”Ms. McGrath said.

For those who want to create fuller brows at home, she suggested a way to ensure that they look evenly shaped. Start by drawing over the straggly hairs you want to remove with a white eyeliner pencil to guarantee that the placement is right before tweezing them.

Next, to create fullness, use a brow pencil or brow powder that is two shades lighter than your natural eyebrow color to fill in between the hairs. The brow should look blended rather than drawn on, she said. Finally, use clear mascara or eyebrow gel to fluff hairs : push them up so they are almost vertical : and then brush them back down, fixing them into shape, she said.

For those with very sparse brows, some salons offer eyebrow extensions. At LuxLash on Newbury Street in Boston, for example, Suzanne Cats, the owner, thickens brows by gluing a tiny fiber onto each existing hair. The process, which costs $75 to $250, can take 45 minutes to two hours and the false eyebrow effect lasts two weeks, she said. She also offers brow prosthetics : hairpieces for the eyebrows : in 20 different shapes and shades.

“It’s for women who previously had their brows made too thin,”Ms. Cats said.

The NYT story is entitled “Throw Away Your Tweezers” and I am sure that tweezer manufacturers will love it if you do, because anything as painful as hair tweezing cannot possibly be permitted to lapse permanently from the realm of socially obligatory grooming rituals. Sooner or later you will be called upon to ritually and zealously remove some patch of naturally occurring body hair from your body if you want to appear beautiful, and if you’ve followed the NYT advice to throw your tweezers away, you’ll need to buy a new pair, so everyone wins except you. Me, I’m thinking the NYT should pluck off.

–Ann Bartow