Alex Witchel writes in a NYT article entitled “Strong Drink Is Not for Men Alone:”
…A few weeks ago I settled down at the bar at Lombardi’s for the inevitable table wait for one of those sublime pizzas and ordered my drink. My husband ordered the same thing. I watched as the bartender filled two tall glasses with ice. He poured bourbon into the first glass, a healthy amount, then squirted some soda on top. In the second glass he poured the bourbon and soda simultaneously, rendering it the color of a weak ginger ale. Guess which one was mine?
I handed it back.”Could you put some more bourbon in this, please?”I asked, struggling to remain polite. Struggling back, he did just that.
A few weeks earlier, I had eaten at Blue Smoke, the barbecue restaurant that serves an impressive list of bourbons and an even more impressive selection of appetizers that complement them, deviled eggs, and the creamy blue cheese and bacon dip with house-made potato chips being just two of them. Seated at a table, I was a gender-blind customer as far as the bartender was concerned. But when the tray of drinks arrived, I realized that two men at the table had ordered the same as I had, Maker’s Mark in a tall glass with soda. The waiter was male, and sure enough, the drink lightest in color was served to me.
I summoned a manager and pointed out the discrepancy. He was deeply apologetic, the drink was fixed and a good time was had by all. But it made me start paying attention. …
She goes on to assert that when she is waited on by women, she receives stronger drinks. With the exception of the occasional chocolate martini or the like, I usually only drink wine when eating at restaurants, which can be freighted with its own gender dynamics. Waitstaff of both genders seem to strongly prefer having a male at any given table taste and approve a bottle of wine, and can respond with confusion or downright rudeness if a woman presumes to fulfill this function. Also, if informed that only select members of a party will be sharing in the wine, the default response is often to provide all the men with wineglasses, and then make specific inquires of the females at the table.
