Apparently this is not satire, it is actual news from ABC in the form of an article entitled “Cleavage: What’s Appropriate, What’s Not.” Here are a couple of additional excerpts:
… From the beach to the mall to the office, women seem to be showing off their cleavage more than ever before. Why? According to Elisabeth Squires, author of “Boobs: A Guide to Your Girls,” American breasts are getting bigger while shirts are getting smaller.
“We are seeing more cleavage these days for a few reasons. First, the fashion of the day is tight and skinny. At the same time, women are bigger than they were even 15 years ago. Bra fitters tell me that an E cup is the new C cup,” Squires said on “Good Morning America.”“We have to remember that while more women are showing more cleavage, you really have to use your breast power responsibly,” Squires said. …
… “A recent study showed men photos of women in a workplace with large breasts showing cleavage, medium breasts and small breasts. When asked about who looked most professional and personable, the men chose the women with medium-sized breasts,” she said.
“You don’t have to be flat-chested to be taken seriously,” she added. “You just have to be proportionate. For women who are small busted, that may mean a little padding. For well-endowed women, that may mean a minimizer.” …
The article lacks a verifiable citation to the reported “recent study.” I’m wondering whether Squires is writing a corollary article about male gonads, and the professional advantages of making sure they appear medium-sized.
Via the wonderful Holly C. Petersen who asks: “Why don’t us women just crumple up our diplomas right now?”