Woe unto she who is reading “Ten Ways to Tell He’s Just Not That Into You” (long story — don’t ask). Here’s one tidbit of advice:
90% Of The Time, You Call Him
All relationships are built upon mutuality. It’s important to take these little signs into consideration, and remember that you deserve better. Dr. [Bethany] Marshall advises, “If you do all the calling, he’s not that invested. Step back, and put yourself on phone restriction. If he’s interested, he’ll call. If he’s not, he won’t.” Yes, it will be painful when you realize that he hasn’t called in a few weeks. But it will allow you to realize that you do, indeed, deserve better, and eventually, you’ll be able to move on.
I think that applies to email, too. Ouch.
Does this advice translate well to professional relationships? If you email or call Professor X for advice on a paper or to read a draft, but Professor X never asks you for advice or a read, is that bad? I’m going to say no, based on some great mentoring relationships I’ve had, where I’ve been the beneficiary of advice and reads, and have given little in return other than profuse thanks, psychic IOU’s and promises to pay it forward.
-Bridget Crawford
