My parents would only take Steve if Steve's parents promised to take me. Carl Otis Winslow: Laura, what's going on in here? Chocum hi chip chok!". Steve Urkel: Oh, I am so glad you said that! Darnell Watkins: [about Carl] This guy's about invisible. Maxine: Ugh, what is this? Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Well I for one am appalled. Well, that's gonna stop right now! Eddie: I don't see what getting beat up is gonna prove. Laura Lee Winslow: If I hadn't started that petition, none of this would've happened. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [seeing what Laura looks like without sleep] You remind me of a movie star. Didn't you? There's a lot of bad pickup lines out there. Eddie: If I don't pull at least a C on my midterm exam, I'm gonna flunk Algebra. Everyone would think that Laura is in love with Steve Urkel and no one would vote for her. Carl: [in his regular voice] I have no idea. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Get lost, Laura! [does Steve's laugh and snort]. *You're* gonna sleep in the bathtub! Myrtle Urkel: Oh, how true, how true! You made me so nervous that I had to go to the hospital to get the thimble taken off. I'm being rejected in my own fantasy. Please, my little Rapunzel. Steve Urkel: Come on everybody, let's ooh the durkel! Why are you guys dressed like that? [skips away from Stefan and Myra towards the elevator. I just wanted to make things better but I ended up making them worse! I'm a person, and I have feelings, and I demand to be treated with respect and dignity! We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. Rachel Crawford: Good. I'm in college. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Why? You know, Harriette, It's the thought that counts. Steve Urkel Had Some COLD lines for Laura and we all aint peep it Follow N Subscribe https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLt1bradMOW81OkAFlIZvfw/subscriberhttps. All we had to do was drop some dead guy off at the graveyard. Dad took Waldo instead of me. Laura Lee Winslow: First you better sprout a chest. Steve Urkel: Laura's got the highly infectious mucus-nasal-osis-inflamicus. Harriette Winslow: You eat all that ice cream and you can kiss your diet goodbye. Steve Urkel: Now, relax, Eddie. Laura: So, Myrtle, how long are you gonna be around? Steve Urkel: [Talking to Eddie and his girlfriend] You heard her, you're all witnesses. Included in the potential "Did I Do That?" Carl Otis Winslow: No. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: These last 2 weeks have been wonderful for me. Laura Lee Winslow: It was just a little practical joke. Harriette Winslow: Carl, calm down, it's not the school's fault. Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: That's what I said, but Dad still said no. I'm jealous of Todd and you want me to help him. And I hear myself telling her the same things my mother told me. Whoa, I'm being pushed back in! You have the right to remain silent. Cassie Lynn: Look, Becky Sue. He couldn't cover his head with his hat. [laughs]. Did you think of me while you guys were camping? Steve Urkel: [cracks up] Oh, that's rich! Steve Urkel: How tough am I? Harriette Winslow: Did I embarrass you, Carl? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Dad, cash is so impersonal. Well, actually it's Quincy, but you guys get the picture. Carl Otis Winslow: Two stalks of broccoli and three pieces of asparagus? Carl Otis Winslow: Edward Arthur Winslow, son I'm ashamed of you. Mango? You should've seen the look on his face when he saw five officers surrounded my car and said Surprise! I only got the date wrong on one flyer. Laura: Well you're stubborn, irritating, loud, obnoxious, pushy, clumsy Steve Urkel: Hi everybody! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [brings her in to meet the Winslows] Now don't worry, they don't bite, and even if they do they've had their shots. Steve Urkel: Why, sure! [strikes a pose] Laura? People just love juicy gossip! Harriette Winslow: But, apparently, you seem to want to learn these things the hard way, so be it. Rodney Beckett: [after seeing Eddie's music video] I can't believe it. But, it's only a compliment and it doesn't mean anything more than that. Wha? Carl Otis Winslow: Or in my case, Hello Rubber Chicken. Stefan Urkelle: I'll have to buy new parts for the chamber. Carl Otis Winslow: [Has just gotten wind of Eddie's flyer party] Edward! Steven Quincy Urkel: Land sakes, woman. No, you're not invited. I promise, okay? Old money has more wrinkles! Ty: No, he's Eddie's brother. Steven Quincy Urkel: But I'm going the recommended cruising speed for this vehicle Any more could be risky. He interruped my phone call meant for Laura. I'm telling you straight out, I hate this. Sorry. I've had more food than this stuck in between my teeth. It's the closest I'll ever get to marrying you- thats why I wanted you to have this- no strings attached- just the one to my heart. Myra Monkhouse: Mr.Winslow, I am very sorry. I've got the STD, all I need is U." 3. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: That's hotties, Steve. If you have something to say, just spit it out. I want more Punch! How would you like it if I put Jheri Curl in your deodorant? Harriette Winslow: Laura, you've had your head in those books all morning, got a big test coming up? I wish I'd never done it. More like The Repulsions. Why, because of you, he's swapping recipes with Wolfgang Puck. It's a "non-date". A heart that hurts. You think it's funny to spike somebody's punch and watch them act like a fool. Eddie: I'm the one who's taking the test. There is no Steve here. Waldo Faldo: Be careful he has another one. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Yes sir. Harriette Winslow: Carl, out first table was next to the entrance where everybody was waiting to be seated. Laura Lee Winslow: No, it's the whole school! Steve Urkel: Well, look at his poor, pathetic face. Laura Lee Winslow: Did they let you take one? 1. Rachel Crawford: Exactly what were Eddie's instructions? Carl, you given me a half-eaten box of candy. Laura: We're not going anywhere. Laura: What you did for me tonight was really special. Harriette Winslow: Carl Winslow, this is the most insensitive, unromantic gift I have ever received. I wanna play some of my own records on the jukebox, but I don't know how to put them in. Laura Lee Winslow: You're lucky, you got into a great fraternity and all it cost you was your best friend. Ms. Steuben: Steve, it's not a good sign when you have to give your bread a pep talk. [Laura walks in the door dressed up in a stereotypical nerd fashion. Steve Urkel: [Rushed] That's all. Harriette Winslow: Carl was nice enough to invite you into his game and you've been acting like a jackass. Laura: Sure, Steve. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Ooh, that's nice! This semester we're Steven, you'd better get going. My mom's the one who really messed up. Steve is clumsy and obsessive yet charismatic and likable. Steve Urkel: You didn't even make it onto the chart! Harriette Winslow: Carl, you snuck into my card box and gave me a card that I already have. I just got a job! Midway through the first season, the show introduced the Winslows' nerdy neighbor Steve Urkel (Jaleel White), who quickly became its breakout character and eventually the show's main character. Rachel Crawford: Can you make him quack like a duck every time the phone rings? Ty: Actually I haven't got my wings yet and I play the keyboard. Carl Otis Winslow: Hey, I mean every word, sweetheart. She just slipped and I caught her. Steve Urkel: Don't feel bad. Harriette Winslow: Carl Otis Winslow, I'm ashamed of you. [finds a note hanging on the door] Oh my God. No phones. Rachel Crawford: Little Richie spoke his first word. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: [Stands up] Dad, I'm not implying. Carl Otis Winslow: Hey, I'm here for you, baby. They help move along our sentences. Whoo! Oh my God! Laura: [grabbing his arm] Ooh! And to top it all off you gave me an old card that I already have. They just love juicy gossip. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Next Saturday. Carl Otis Winslow: Like that. Carl Otis Winslow: Oh gee that'd scare me. Judy Winslow: Brussels sprouts make me wanna puke. Harriette Winslow: And deliberately sat us next to a cigar smoker. Steven Quincy Urkel: Oh, put a cork in it, Missy! Laura Lee Winslow: Then she demanded her money back when she found out that she modeled ladies underwear. Steve Urkel: Mmm, steak. Rachel Crawford: [to Harriette] He's not gonna make him quack. You had two whole days to forget where it was. Rachel Crawford: It's almost impossible to find a job these days. Halawna, Oneisha: [pop up in the car Clarence stole] Surprise! "Nubbles Sucks Face with Nerd!". [walks into the bathroom]. Willie Fuffner: [Wipes his own mouth] Thank you. Your eyes are like the ocean; I could swim in them all day. Should I be getting some Handi-Wipes? Suppose I made it happen. Carl Otis Winslow: [Grabs his wallet] How much do you need? Needless to say she's not amused as he jumps on there]. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I call Waldo Faldo up. Carl Otis Winslow: [after bringing Eddie home from jail] Now Edward, stop looking around for Steve. Carl Otis Winslow: He and Steve got busted for gambling. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Stevil was back and he was coming for my soul! And I just got the wax sucked out of my ears! Carl: Son, I am no neophyte when it comes to electronics. 4 Mar. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: It was on his tongue! It's a cool chamber. Once, I found them in Milwaukee living under an assumed name! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Stephan] Laura Winslow, you are the sun, the rain, and the wind that flowers my soul. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Wait just a minute here, Mr.McClure. I wouldn't know what to charge. I'm wearing a Bart Simpson's mug. Hey, what were you doing in my closet? [Willie is upset at Waldo as Laura shows up to the crime. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well, what are you waiting for? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: March 24th, Raoul's houseoat is beautiful. You have a lot of qualitites girls really go for. Waldo: Yeah, but I was so nervous when I asked her out that before she could answer, I barfed all over her shoes. A mouse to cheese! A small gastronomic goof up. Sara Sue Pettyjohn: [stuck up toward Myrtle's lack of style and class] That's the difference between *old* money and *new* money. [steps on the gas]. Harriette: Don't even think like that. [Waldo has just given Eddie a list of IOU at Mighty Weenie]. Sure, it may cover your hiney, but if you make a habit of it, you've got a serious problem. My zipper." 5. Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, I just feel so helpless! Harriette Winslow: Why? And we practiced for six minutes! Laura Lee Winslow: I know, but he said 'get lost, Laura'. Lt. Murtaugh: Yeah like that's gonna bring him back. Eddie: I meant, I haven't seen her today. Now hit the sack. Laura Lee Winslow: Most people don't know that. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Failure to signal. Curtis: My whole family is flying out to Washington for the funeral, Laura: Can you wait a day, of course you can't. Steve Urkel: [sobbing] In about a week or so, but she gonna have to miss the prom. How much will that cost me? Weel Good Lord man, she's an overnight success story. Every year, my relatives send me money in hopes that I won't visit them! Her temperature shot up and she tossed more cookies than the Keebler elf. Steven Quincy Urkel: Don't interrupt me! Steve Urkel: Now that Waldo's out of the picture, does that make me your number one reject? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Who would've thought Harriette was a bit friendly. Could you write that 'A' down on a piece of paper? Eddie: Dad you embarrassed me in front of my friends. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: It's a tradition in the Urkel family to not consummate the marriage for three months. Steve Urkel: Oh, pasha, you're making me blush again. You've been saying it for weeks. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Oh really, why wasn't I told? I can't think of a single reason not to do this every week. Harriette: Judy, finish your Brussels sprouts. At the airport he picked up 6 bags. [the car breaks down. Laura: Dad, you're exacerbating the situation instead of ameliorating it. Judy Winslow: Who wants to read about cheese? Take out the trash Edward, "Tomorrow Dad!" Steve Urkel: You said, "Get a life, Steve", A week ago you would have said, "Get a life, TURBONERD". He woke me up too. Then we par-tay, see no problem. [music abruptly stops] Look at yourselves. Steve Urkel: [Steve picks up the cord to the satelite dish] Sloppy, Sloppy, Sloppy! You are such a sweetheart. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I have been scared straight, I saw a guy who had a tattoo of a battleship. Curtis: I don't know how to tell you this, but I have to tell you straight out. I'm on duty? He is portrayed by Jaleel White. [Pulls Steve to other side of room] Steven, last semester I specifically asked you what class you would not be taking this semster and you told me HOME EC! Then instead of admitting it, you let us spread a log in Lake Michigan. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Chuck is twice the man Raoul is. Harriette: [sobbing] Clint is driving off and Meryl will never see him again! Rachel Crawford: Right. this is when Urkel was the funniest, when he was youngest, seasons 1 & 2. [after Steve's Urk-yeast exploded all over the room]. urkel-steve. And you got LOUDER every time you made the Maitre D move us to another table. And it will also think of a range of mistakes, not just the standard fare of stats guys everywhere: the disastrous trade up. [Waldo nods as Eddie goes to the next name]. Laura Lee Winslow: Does shag carpet also make you crazy? Steve Urkel: [reading] "No mouth breathing, no snorting, no drooling". Steve Urkel: Hi Harriette, hi Laura, hi Harriette, hi Laura, hi Harriette, oh look, it's Laura! Steve Urkel: Yeah, but now I have an excuse. Dec 25, 2011 - Explore Nadia Hussein's board "Steve Urkel", followed by 259 people on Pinterest. I rushed her to the emergency room and the doctor said she has walking pneumonia. And I like the Red Sox. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I feel so safe in Raoul's strong arms I love him soo much and I sorta like Carl. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: No, I *am* a serious little nerd. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: [reveals his empty jacket] He meant the booze that came out of my jacket. Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel: [is chased and hides behind a jock] Hold me back, hold me back. Suppose I made it happen. I kept quiet last week and I haven't say anything tonight. Maxine Johnson: It happens every year the day of the prom. Laura: Girl, have you ever seen the hair salon so crowded? Waldo: Cheating it wrong, Eddie, and you should know that. I was kickin' butt. Carl Otis Winslow: He's trouble. I got a nosebleed at birth. Some of our pickup lines are real-life applicable. You had an accident. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Ok dad. Ha ha! Weasel: Yeah chill. Harriette: Come on, sweetie, let's get you home and then I can put some antiseptic on those cuts. I was not abrasive. Carl Otis Winslow: [trying to convince his boss that using Urkelbot is a bad idea] But Sir, you and I have been to the Police Academy. What are you? It seems the guy that you purchased your stereo equipment from didn't want you to fill in any important paper work. Steve Urkel: A little? At a party, once, he clamped cables to his earlobes and jump-started a Volkswagen. Carl: Maybe you can even resurrect your band. I can almost see what you had for lunch! Carl Otis Winslow: Well Harriette, what are those people teaching down at that school? Cop: [Searching Willie and Waldo] Ok, where did you hide the booze? Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel. Do you have any idea how much you changed him? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [after Steve, Eddie & Waldo sang 'My Girl'] Don't we remind you of The Temptations? Steve Urkel: You know what, Laura? Rachel Crawford: Yeah do you want to be buried or cremated? You don't want to get fried. Rodney Beckett: YOU thought you were smart? [poins to the part on Harriette's diary] Aha, it's over with me and Raoul. Steven Quincy Urkel: I will *not* sleep in the bathtub! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: As long as you're up, bring me a piece. Laura Lee Winslow: If you're really my guardian angel, where're your wings and your harp? Steve Urkel: [collecting] Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Laura Lee Winslow: That you'll never go into outer space again. Raoul is the new produce manager. Steven Quincy Urkel: Come on, yeast! Carl Otis Winslow: [after picking up Eddie who was arrested for gambling] Edward, stop looking around for Steve, he's at his own home having this same conversation with his parents. I'm being born! Steve Urkel: Carl, I brought the notes to go over with Laura. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: When you're hurting other people it ain't harmless. Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: [not knowing Steve and Laura saw each other naked] All right, chicken. I do not like 30 people hanging around my shoulder, saying "Hey Senora, can you eat a little faster?". Eddie didn't have to come back here and confess. Laura Lee Winslow: [comes in with Mother Winslow's dress from the dry cleaners] Ugh mom, this place is really getting gross. Harriette Winslow: So Oona how are things in Altoona? Steve Urkel: Edo, cheating is like wearing your grandmother's underpants. Steve Urkel: That's because you don't know what it's like being small. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: What's your aunt's name, who'd want to kill her, and who do you like in the World Series? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Waldo! Rachel Crawford: Steve!, Steve! Eddie: [chuckling] I know this one! Cop: It's also against the law. What are you doing with these bells? No. Why, it'll ruin my transcript! Steve Urkel: Well, ya see, we had a little muffin mayhem. Played by Jaleel White, Urkel joined "Family Matters" at the end of its first season, which one of his castmates says was a production decision that changed everything. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'll miss Waldo. I just wish it would all go away, Daddy. I didn't kiss you. I wanna take it home and read it to my mom. What do you get when you multiply a negative by a negative? Welcome to Leroy's! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: [to Carl] I know you're stubborn as a mule but you don't have to act like a jackass! Carl: [in an Urkel like voice and gives Stefan some money] Here takes some casher rooney and fix it sooney. Eddie, your father left you three messages for you and you never called him back. Harriette Winslow: So what you're saying is it's full. Don't nothing, never mind me, Carl. Gun, Carl. Newsflash, Eddie! [Handing out] Menu, menu, menu, menu, menu. Steve Urkel: Well, Laura doesn't want a date with me. Robber: [holding up the convenience store where Carl, Steve, and Urkelbot are undercover, threatening Carl with a gun] You! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well why aren't you? Me and Laura went ice skating together. Curtis Williams: Laura, great timing. Urkelbot: [Kojack Impression] Who loves ya, baby! [the photographer takes a snap shot of Eddie nerously laughing as Carl drives him away]. Steven Quincy Urkel: I wasn't the one who overslept, Ms. Rip Van Winslow. Will you marry me? Laura Lee Winslow: [Urkel voice] Seasons Greetings, Winslows! [stares at the racist cop] Black. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Yeah, well you have to get rid of them. Dont you know when you make a mistake, you fess up to it. Curtis: I know you're disappointed. Harriette: [unsympathetic] Yes! Lt.Murtaugh: Do you know that woman Winslow? Look, Steve. the signs as potential pick up lines from hamilton. Steve Urkel: To keep the camera on him and forget all the other meatheads. Every time I'm around them, my mind goes blank. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Oh, no buts! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Well it wasn't funny. Harriette Winslow: Carl, I'm up in Laura's room and she looks at me, and she asks 'Why, Mom? I"m going to the mall to hand out gifts to orphans kids. Weasel: [Eddie leaves and Weasel gets hit by Waldo] What was that for? You think I'm fat. My doctor slapped the wrong end. They help move along our sentences. Cassie Lynn: Well, we just got some really hot photos of you being romanced by the Prince of Passion here. I probably had the heater up on high and they wilted. I've decided to retire from the theatre arts department. Laura: That you'll never go into outer space again, Steve Urkel: Only when we kiss, Laura Lee, only when we kiss [they passionately kiss]. Steve Urkel: My uncle, Elijah Urkel, has been struck by lightning four times. Let's just hope we can rub off on him before he rubs off on 3J. What do you have to say for yourselves? I didn't expect you to be in there and I feel like such a worm. Family Matters is an American sitcom series that originated on ABC from September 22, 1989 to May 9, 1997, before moving to CBS from September 19, 1997 to July 17, 1998. Eddie: I'm sorry, Steve. Lionel: Really? Hey, you could be making this whole thing up! Steve Urkel: Ssssh, not while I'm pouring. Steve Urkel: I've never tried out for athletics before and the equipment list says that every guy should wear a cup. Carl: Rough. Laura Lee Winslow: Nope, this is Black History Month. And, I just wanted to wish you good luck. So, is it all right with you? [Eddie comes crashing through the living room in the car], [Stefan did not take his "cool boost" for that week - he wants to turn back into Steve]. Think of the possibilities.". Wha? The lovestruck genius of Steve Urkel. Bazooms! He just told you to get lost. Nick Neidermeyer: Do I have to remind you who you're talking to? Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: Then how 'bout a nice juicy thigh? Was I about to take the Big Sleep? What about it, Steve. Steve Urkel: Don't we remind you of The Temptations? Carl: I just had the worst day of my entire life. Carl Otis Winslow: Well is she still crying? Grab a blanket and go sleep in the bathtub. [faints]. [Comes out and fights Willie as the students cheer for a fight between Urkel and Fuffner], [Waldo and Wille has just gotten out of class to trash Urkel's locker]. The Nineties. [Steve and Carl are playing Gin Rummy when an infuriated, Eddie and Laura come into the house.]. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You mean, you want to kiss me? Waldo: [pause] Wow! I'll be in all the videos. It seems the guy that you purchased your stereo equipment from didn't want you to fill in any paper work. Steve Urkel: Well, that may be what happened, but it won't be what the people believe. And we practiced for six minutes! You ever been down to the slaughterhouse? ", Harriette Winslow: She looked at me with tears in her eyes, and she said "Why, Mom?". Harriette Winslow: And I always mark the year, you gave it to me. 1 The Shrink Machine Was Made To Make The Winslows Plenty Of Money. Besides it's just a joy ride what could go wrong? Laura: How long have we known each other? Carl Otis Winslow: Why not try the truth! Does that about cover it? Laura: Sure. The only reason I asked you to be my partner was because I was worried about my grade. Did you know an African American helped design the blueprint for Washington, D.C.? And I don't get many calls! Laura: Don't argue. You know uh, Laura doesn't have a date for the prom either. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: I got one of those once, did you know the sidewalk isn't a passing lane? Web. We are properly trained. I'm sorry, call you next week? Laura Lee Winslow: Sure. Colonel Dirk Urkel! Steve Urkel: Danger's my middle name! Steve Urkel: L-long enough to get i-icicles on my nose hair Look! Waldo Geraldo Faldo: I'm missing the parade. [Willie grabs Waldo and takes him with the cops who arrested them], [Steve has humiliated Willie at the party that he grabs a small glass of Vodka and pours it into Urkel's cup]. [Turns and squirts filling on Carl's shirt]. Willie Fuffner: I'm gonna trash Urkel's locker. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: I couldn't even go in. Then he unfolds it] Well Tell me again. No. Or was it yellow? Carl Otis Winslow: Well sweetheart, if you feel that strongly about it, maybe you should do something about it. Steve Urkel: [while Laura and Maxine hit Steve with two Boston Cream Pies] No, AAH!, WAAAH! Laura: Let me tell you something. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: All right. You're wrong, the maitre'd gave me a two for one coupon. Ms. Steuben: Uh, excuse us just a minute. Waldo: But, why ya gonna do that, Willie? Harriette Winslow: Now here's something I didn't know. Carl Otis Winslow: Steve, Everything was Going Just fine, until You Blabbed that I was a cop. We've got cheerleaders taller than him. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [shocked] And he brought hooters! Steve Urkel: Of course. Myrtle Urkel: Frankly my dear, I just don't give a damn. I was in a high-speed car chase and ran out of gas. Stefan Urquelle: Steve, what's up with your cousin? Laura Lee Winslow: Let's just take that risk. When my dad said you fixed me up with Laura; why, I thought I'd wet my pants! Robber: [threatens Steve] You! You need to get out more. Waldo, you may go now. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Uh, uh isn't this the Zorro audition? Did I do that? Whem I'm unhappy about something, I say so. Steve Urkel: Uh-oh. Rachel Crawford: Well, I'm planning dinner for a very, very special friend. [after Carl as defeated Turbo with ease, Harriette runs up to him with her purse]. Laura Lee Winslow: [in tears] Daddy, everything's a mess! Harriette Winslow: [Takes an envelope from Carl] 'Lose Weight, Feel Great at Chicago's Premiere Health Spa, Hip Whippers'. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: It was Jan Matzeliger, in 1883. Sergeant Shishka: Urkel, Winslow, you are not on my list of new recruits. [reading] "Mongu! Steve Urkel: [runs back into the living room] Sorry Rachel! You know you'll never reach it, but you have to keep trying. Nobody threatens my woman! Carl Otis Winslow: Well there's no rush. I'm finished with this witness, your honor! You think it's cool to come to a prty with a mini bar in your coat. I've been there a 100 times, but this time was different. Laura: Curtis, I got my hair done, my nails. So, what's cookin', good lookin'? Well, why didn't you tell me? I may get F's, but, by God, I earn them! Harriette Winslow: What a miserable evening. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You won't be sorry, sir.