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I left my surname for you. Coping Strategies for Husbands. Every marriage encounters some bumps on the road, but the strong ones survive everything. And thats not something that should be mentioned more than once. It shouldnt have got to this stage. I wanted to express how much I adore and care about you." "@type": "Question", Shouldnt we keep trying to make each other happy? Now, we dont even fall asleep together and I feel so alone in that bed we bought together. The multiple days where you would stay in bed, or not shower, or the days where eating a meal seemed like too much work. You should be able to tell when they are stressed and when to give a helping hand. But today, I feel like the world has fallen on me, and I cant bear the pain anymore. And when I say Ill divorce you, its the last thing I want to do. Click Here To Listen To Free Audiobook On Overcoming Depression. I know sometimes I say I wish I didnt exist. Dont give up on our marriage. It can either be drug addiction or behavior-wise addiction. -Kacey. But it seems like you dont want that anymore it seems like you dont want me. Oops! Hed tell me nothing but the truth and the most romantic things I ever heard. Im sorry that I am not the wife you deserve but I dont know what else to do. I think its because your job is too stressful and youre taking it out on us by staying away. You dont have to tell me you love me every day or try to convince me that Im beautiful to you. You're happy when I'm happy, and you're sad when I'm sad. I love you so much, but sometimes it feels like we are living separate lives. I hope that this letter finds you well and happy with your new life without me. I know that weve been having problems lately, but I want us to get through them together! And if we look at us, theres nothing to see but two strangers who are living under the same roof. I feel so alone and helpless. You didnt have to marry me. Let us do away with these trivial marriage issues. I know youre trying to help by taking care of the kids, but its not enough. You have tried your level best, and we all know it. Writing a letter to your husband could save you all the stress of having to look into his face and not knowing what to say. I dont know how to start this letter. One brave woman recently reached out to her husband with an open letter to open up about what she called a "killer" illness. We share subjects that impact your daily life and we primarily discuss and write about all things related to relationships, breakups, mental health, astrology and much more. We dont laugh anymore. But Im not guilty of adultery. Thank you for that. Stress from a toxic relationship can cause a number of symptoms, such as sleep difficulties, appetite changes, and reduced immunity. Depression is very clever, you see it builds up a wall of anger piece by piece, and you never notice it until its so big it begins to topple over. I feel like a rubbish momma. The whole scene made me sad because it reminded me of how I used to treat my ex-wife. I know you probably think to yourself, is this my fault? That name should mean that were a family, but this isnt the family I want my children to grow up in. I want things to get better, i want to be your wife and your friend and I want to feel like I'm as important as everything else in your . Writing a letter to your husband about how depressed you are and how you feel can feel weird especially if it is your first time and the fact that it has to come in a letter form. I've never told you how cold it feels when you look at me like you're looking at a ghost. As a husband, you may have thoughts of leaving the marriage. I feel like I cant do anything right anymore. I cant just bring it up in conversation. At times I wonder if the only reason you married me was to hurt me. But I need you to understand that I also need your support right now. I will not sacrifice my sacrifice if you value the worth of my sacrifice. I am sorry that I couldnt keep my promise of being your wife who will always be there for you. Letter to Husband Who Hurt You. Were two people who promised eternity to each other, and weve been together for years. It appears you entered an invalid email. But please dont ever think that its because I dont think you and our son are worth living for. And Im sorry if that makes you mad or upset, but its true! She spent her 20's travelling, her 30's getting married and having babies, and is now hitting her 40's newly . And I need help. I dont want to feel like this anymore. It may look funny from the beginning but the truth is that it helps in choosing your words right and gives you the greater space to express yourself well through words. The family we were when we couldnt stand being apart because something was always drawing us closer. But lately, its like that feeling has been taken from me. Marriage however becomes boring when these expectations arent met by one of the couples. There, youll also find thoughts and questions by our community. The Mighty is asking the following: Write a letter to anyone you wish had a better understanding of your experience with disability, disease or mental illness. You probably dont think its your fault but it is. The Story Of Ahalya And Indra: Was It Really Adultery? After all weve been through, I think it does and Ive started feeling like its not an option youd consider anymore. I realize you don't know me. Just like you have always been there for me, I will always be there for you. There will be times when life gets hard. I'm The Old Mom With A Young Kid & Yes, Sometimes It's Weird. Does the designation of a husband come with this responsibility? We live in the same house, but we dont even talk to each other anymore. The frustration that comes with not being able to tell your depressed wife how much you love her, how each day is brighter with her in it, and instead knowing she will simply smile and not fully believe you or not realize what youre trying to communicate is truly one of the hardest feelings Ive ever had to overcome. I need you to hold my hand and lead me to the future we planned for us. 2. A truly unenviable position for any new husband. And you had thought it was a boy! Im lonely and depressed and I dont know what to do. Were meant to be best friends and lovers. I cant just go on with my life without you, but I cant keep feeling so unloved either. You are always angry with me and whenever I try talking to you, all you do is shout at me and tell me that everything is my fault. Im here. Its like an old addiction that comes to hurt me when it smells the dark cloud. Thank you for funding my therapy, doctors appointments, and medications. Sometimes I tell you and sometimes I dont. I dont know why, but I think its because of you and our relationship. To the spouse who wants out . The Waiting Game When A Guy Disappears, Does He Ever Come Back? That beautiful smile you used to give me has disappeared too And I feel like Im the one to blame. Today, I am a man. But if you still want me and love me, I want you to know how Id feel if I lost you. Ive never told you how cold it feels when you look at me like youre looking at a ghost. Be a good listener: Be willing to listen to your wifes thoughts and feelings without judgment. Related Reading: How jealousy killed the love which no conspiracy or distance could. The body should however talk about your feelings, how unhappy you feel and what you think might be the cause. You know that Ive been depressed for a while now and unable to sleep properly. I firmly believed there was nothing I could do. She co-founded Poetry Paradigm and is an executive body member of Indian Performance and Poetry Library. This article would guide you as to how to write a letter to your husband as a depressed unhappy wife. It is also known as major depressive disorder or clinical depression. You see, the problem is that I am still unhappy and depressed about the way our marriage is going. Im feeling so broken and lost. There are a lot of expectations from each partner after marriage. Show me that you love me and dont ever make me doubt your love again. 2. Remember the last time when my girlfriend had called? So before you feel insecure, think of all that I have done for you. But then, slowly, I started to see the side of you that you were so apt to hide from me and the rest of the world for fear of being found out. Take care of yourself: Caring for your own well-being will enable you to better support your wife. Weve come a long way. Letters from lonely, unhappy wives #1: Husband doesn't want her to have friends. When we first met five years ago, I never thought I would be writing this. I have been trying my best to make things work and although I feel like giving up, I cannot because I know that it is not just about me anymore. { In a word, I felt helpless. We even used to have a rule about not going to bed angry. I have been trying hard not to show you my tears, but now I cant hold them back anymore. How to Discuss Your Depression with Your Partner 1. Ever. I know it can add up quickly. Lets give our marriage another chance and turn it into the loving relationship it once was. No matter what you decide, writing . I never saw this monotony in you. If it were anyone else, I still would have gotten my postpartum depression, but I definitely wouldnt have had the support you provided me with. Our love will always be my favorite melody, but it takes two to tango. I feel so alone, so unhappy. I know you were hoping that this would be a different letter from the one I wrote last week, but its not. I loved you as soon as I saw you and knew we were meant to be. At that time, Im sad to say, your assurances fell on deaf ears. Couple relationshipsthe pains and pleasures, the anxieties and comforts, the craziness and calm. That is enough for me. Not get pleasure from activities usually enjoyed. Thank you so much for this! I simply cant handle it because the thought of losing you is killing me. And I keep that hurt in my heart. There is nothing you did to cause it, and there is nothing you can do to make it go away. And I need help. Because despite the internal battle you fight on a daily basis, you still manage to be truly the best wife I could have ever hoped for. This gives them a sense of belonging also the idea that someone got their back. You are the best. I feel so lonely and sad all the time. Whyd you thought I hide things from you? I know its important to know when to give up, but this letter is about me begging you to keep fighting. I miss getting flowers and chocolate just because you wanted to surprise me. Thank you for the times you let me make those big decisions for my mental health. Please dont give up on me, love, because I wouldnt be the same without you. And then we got married and had kids togetherand now here we are. Forgetting the bread will not be the real reason. We used to have our own love language that would melt my heart and make me dream of you. But I have to tell you the truth about how I feel. Did you ever once think about it? If so, please forgive me and know that I want to make it up to you. "@type": "FAQPage", I think Im going to have a panic attack. or Oh my gosh, Im so depressed became a monotonous phrase that strangers were all too happy to proclaim when the coffee shop ran out of their favorite muffin or they were forced to stay in the library a little later than normal to finish a paper instead of going to the bars with their friends. I have been trying to hide it from you, but I think it is time that I tell you how I am feeling. } Minimizing each other's feelings, having little sex, feeling abandoned and powerless, and no longer having fun together all indicate an unhappy marriage . We have been married for 8 years now but I dont think we should continue our marriage anymore. You tell me that you have a lot of work at work and dont have time for me or the kids but its not like that at all. You wanted me as your punching bag. PS: She told Joie Bose after reading the letter her husband was in tears and hugged her tight. You always have that beer in your hand when not working. Include Your Partner in Your Treatment Strategy. I have been living in this world for 28 years but never knew what it feels like to be so depressed and unhappy. When we married, we promised each other that we would be there for each other no matter what happened, but lately you have been absent more often than not. 3. 2022 Mighty Proud Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved. This article was originally published on Jan. 8, 2020. She was speaking to me in a male voice. My life wouldnt be the same without you in it and I dont even want to imagine it. We yell at each other and pretend that its about whatever trivial thing we are yelling about. 2. 3. Everybone hurts. Most of all, I miss you. Were stronger together and understand everything about each other. Why every single daughter should read this. A woman who needs a letter to explain her feelings to her spouse to finally admit the truth to herself: My husband doesnt want me anymore. You spend more and more time away from me and the children. Youre making me feel like youre ready to leave and Im not ready to let you go. Not only is Swords & Snoodles a parenting website, it also often features mental health issues and experiences with children who have additional needs. Despite the challenges mental illness will no doubt bring to our future, I welcome them head on. This letter is my last chance to show him how alone I really feel So here goes. Bring Resources to the Table. Show empathy and understanding: It is important to validate your wife's feelings and show her that you care. Well, Im not laughing and I havent for a very long time. Outline your objectives and intentions. We used to be a team, not have our own separate lives. "text": "How to Discuss Your Depression with Your Partner 1. It hurts so much when you ignore me like that like I dont matter as much as your work does. Well, a woman who doesnt feel desirable in her husbands life anymore. I feel very guilty about all the pain that I have caused you and our children, but please understand that this guilt is only making me feel even more depressed and unhappy than before. Depression clouds your mind. Every time you say a mean word, every time you push me away, you hurt me. Something has to change. Take some time to think things through and have some space to really feel my absence. It doesnt reflect reality at all or at least my reality as a person who wants more out of life than what she has right now (which is exactly nothing). I just want to cry all day. Its that I feel like Im losing control over my mind. How could you do such a thing to someone who has loved you so much throughout these years? You still have so many years of living ahead of you, places to go, sights to see, feelings to feel - so grab them with both hands, hold tight and jump. But I have to tell you the truth about how I feel. "@type": "Answer", And if that means ending our relationship so you can find happiness with someone else, then so be it. This letter is like catharsisfor her. Feel extremely tired. We both know were not the same people we were when we first met, but does it have to mean that were not a married couple? As a wife, you may be experiencing depression and maybe feeling unhappy about your marriage. Im not happy. When we got married, it was the happiest day of my life, to make my vows to you and promise to love you forever. You are my best friend and I want to spend my life with you. Why is it that every man I talk to a prospective usurper of your seat? An Open Letter to Shitty Husbands, Vol. Marital tension has been related to an increase in the prevalence of mental health issues such as depression and alcoholism. This letter to a husband about feeling unwanted is my scream for your attention my pain finally put into words. And I know that youve been lying to me. This can be made very simple. Trust building is very important in a husband and wife relationship. You used to be so passionate about our relationship, but now you just seem indifferent towards me. Thank You much Love , Yeboah Lucy Mawunyo Abla is my name. Writing a letter in itself can be stressful as you challenge yourself on how the introduction should look and how the body should be. But as long as were both willing to work on our relationship, it can work. 2. I will get through this with the help of a little medication and some therapy. I need to be confident that youre never going to give up on us. You have physical symptoms. I dont know what to do. One day I hope it wont ever cross my mind again. I feel like we have lost that connection between us that we used to have when we first met. It is only because I love you so much and want us to be happy together again! I was at a party and I had a tiny crush on the married birthday girl, and I watched her husband ignore her all night (and already knew him to be a less-than-ideal partner). The inevitable distance between two people in love, the restless neediness of love. I think about it a lot, though how you might be better off with someone else. Related Reading: When I discovered the dark secret my girlfriend shared with her BFF. You had wanted to see my call log. I know that you are a good person who always tries his best but sometimes life just sucks and theres nothing anyone can do about it. Because Im tired of all the things we leave unsaid. All you need is to put your mind to what is it that you want to tell your husband, and since is about you are the best person to write it and write it how you want it to be understood. Why is it that every action of mine viewed as being something more than what it is? I need your love and for you to show me the affection you used to. Things werent this way before and never should have been. All Im asking for is that you keep it safe there for a little longer before deciding to throw it away. Now that I know what I would miss, Im here to stay. You go straight to bed after dinner without even saying goodnight to me or the kids. Things have been difficult between us lately, but we can fix them if we try hard enough! It hurts me to feel like Im the only one in this relationship whos trying to save it, but it also hurts to feel invisible and Im afraid of losing you.